As I sat here tonight, I’m filled with so many emotions. I’m not sure how things are going to be when I go back home for the second anniversary of Leo’s passing. I was so out of it when his first one came around. I am not sure I am ready for this one, either.
Each time I thought I was moving forward, I began to take two steps back. Truth be told, I am not sure how I am going to feel. It’s not that I don’t want to go back, but I’m afraid I’m going to fall back into my depression.
On the one hand, I’m will be glad to go back and see everyone again. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do that for a while. But when I got Mom’s letter, and both she and dad talked to me about all this in one of our weekly calls, I knew I had to make the effort.
I’m not sure what will happen, but for tonight I just wanted to forget all about it. I needed to focus on my dance lessons and make sure I’m at the top of my game. Alona Neal informed us in class yesterday that one of us has a chance to showcase ourselves at the Radio City Music show coming up later this month. I’m so excited!
Sandy seemed happy with the news, but she’s also a bit in shock. She says they’ve never allowed a sophomore to perform there before. I hope it does not become an issue. I would love to perform in this show, but there are so many other dancers who are amazing. I doubt I have much of a shot.
Well, goodnight for now. Big night tomorrow night. Henry’s gala is finally here.