Chapter 57


After New Year’s Eve, I decided to try to see where the relationship with Henry would lead. I really wanted to take things slow, and Henry says he understood. Therefore, we agreed not to tell everyone what was going on between us. I did agree to go out with him, but as the weeks passed I began to doubts  whether I had made the right decision.

The months were going by quickly, and little by little I was feeling more comfortable with the idea of us. At least, I thought I was. Sandy already suspected something deeper was going to form, since I told her about our kiss.

“Oh, Mia. I’m so happy for you,” she said excitedly.

When I confided in my mom, she does nothing but express her doubts about it and keeps asking me if I’m sure.

I tell her I’m taking things slow, so her reaction really bugged me. I’m twenty years old now, and I know what I want. At least I thought I did.

One evening late in June, Henry wanted to visit a nice Italian restaurant called Vinnie’s that’s close to his place. The weather outside was beautiful. Vinnie’s was packed, but with the feeling of romance in the air. From the moment we arrived I saw couples holding hands and really enjoying the night. Henry, as usual, was the perfect gentleman. He looked very handsome. His dark blue suit accents his dark brown hair and light brown eyes well. I’m wearing my green mini dress. Sandy said it made my dark brown hair stand out.

The night is going perfectly. That is, until I suddenly began to wonder if I’m doing the right thing. So many reservations began hitting me all at once. I hate that this was happening now, but the more I try to ignore it the worse I felt. I smiled, so Henry would not suspect anything. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

But I became consumed within my thoughts.

Just then the music began to play, and Henry held out his hand to me.

“Mia, will you do me the honor?”

I hesitantly give him a nod so that Henry does not notice my nervousness.

“Sure.” My heart races, and I tried to hold back my tears. It’s been so long since I felt this way.

“Mia, what’s wrong?” he asks.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, because they’re focused downward. I bit my lip.

“I am sorry, Henry, but I have to go now!”

“You are leaving? Now?” He frowned and shook his head. “But we just got here.”

“I know, and I am sorry. But I have to go now.” “Mia, please don’t go!” he pleaded.

Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to blink them back. “I have to go, Henry.”

He pulled me toward him. “Mia, why are you not looking at me?” “Please, Henry. I need to leave.”

“Mia, talk to me!” he demanded.

“I can’t do this now.” “Why not?” he asked again.

I wanted to keep it together. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t stop me now. It was inevitable.

He would not stop pushing me.

“Mia, I demand to know what is the matter!” “Look, Henry, I don’t want to hurt you.” “Hurt me? What are you talking about?”

The pressure in my head was too intense now. My heart raced, and my whole body trembled. I was trying to remain calm, so I took a deep breath.

“I’m just a bit taken aback by all that is happening with us.” “Mia, don’t be scared of what is happening.”

This is just too much.

I am not ready for this now.

“I can’t do this, Henry!”

“Mia, where are you going?” he called out, but his voice is distant now.

I am sorry, Henry. I hope one day you can forgive me.

“Mia, please come back!” His voice was louder now. He’s caught up to me, and his hand is on my arm. “Mia, talk to me!”

“Look, Henry, I thought I was ready, but I’m not.” He gazed into my eyes. “Then we will take it slow.” “No, I can’t! I will not do this to Leo!”

Immediately I regretted those words, but it was too late.

Henry’s eyes said it all. “Fine, Mia. Go!” And then he walked away.

Later that evening, when I arrived back at the dorm, I couldn’t control my tears.

Sandy was home and she knew something was wrong. “Mia? What happened? she asked.

“I wasn’t ready, Sandy, and I hurt Henry,” I sobbed. Immediately she came by my side.

“It’s okay, Mia. I’m here for you.”

I spent the entire night crying as Sandy held me. The whole time, I wondered how Henry was. Why did I hurt him this way?


Please forgive Henry.




Chasing Clarity Copyright © 2015 by Sylvia Stein . All Rights Reserved.


Comments are closed.