Chapter 60

Dear Diary,

Well, now it’s been about six months since I heard from Henry. He left for England, and I got his letter. That’s it. I have no clue how he is doing or anything. I never realized how much I would miss him.

I never thought, when he left, it would be the last time I ever saw him. Sandy told me to give it time. It was hard. Henry became my friend. I cared what happened to him. Just because I wasn’t as ready as I thought, that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends.

Goodness, this is crazy! What is wrong with me? I sound crazy. I’m not making sense. No wonder Henry is gone. Oh, I feel so lost. I need to regroup. What is happening?

Within a few weeks, I will begin my third year at the academy and of living in NYC. I can’t believe how much time has passed.

Everything is going perfectly, I guess you could say. But that’s not exactly the truth. I can’t stop thinking about Henry. I have finally come to the conclusion that he means too much to me. I thought I could just brush off the fact that he left and move on. I was wrong. I miss everything about him. Henry is just charming and a good friend. Except he isn’t just a friend. I am starting to feel things for him I can’t explain. I can’t remember feeling this way about anyone since Leo. I never thought it would be possible.

I remember how Henry called me when I went back to Ann Arbor for Leo’s memorial. He didn’t know the reason I went home, but just the  fact that he took the time to call me meant so much.

I’m grinning while I write this. I am acting like a school girl. Henry made me feel special. This is something I never thought would happen to me again. How did I get so lucky?

It’s just like me to panic when we practically made out like that. I thought I was ready then. Boy, did I hurt him. I really did. It’s not fair. Henry deserved better. Now, he is probably with Trina, and I can’t be upset about that. Henry gave me a chance. Now I need to accept defeat.

Anyway, I miss him, and I hope he’s having fun back home. I heard his exhibit was a huge success. Still, I miss him. I was happy to be starting school, but I was still feeling guilty for putting Henry through so much pain.

Will he ever come back? Will I ever be able to ask him to forgive me? I think I have lost any chance of that now. I am not sure if I could ever repair our relationship.




Chasing Clarity Copyright © 2015 by Sylvia Stein . All Rights Reserved.


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