Chapter 9


The days seemed to be getting away from me. Aside from eating and showering, I have created a world in my bedroom. Goodness, when I stare at the days on the calendar I’m shocked to see that it’s already mid-fall.

Oh, my. Wow!  I even missed my own birthday in September. I also realized that my parents decided not to hover. I’m quite impressed and a bit shocked. It’s harder for my mom, I know. I can hear her crying at night.

For some reason, today I was determined to leave my room. I couldn’t explain it. All I knew was that I felt like Leo pulling me out of this slumber and depression. He always wanted us to pursue what we loved, and he knew dancing was what I loved.

“Mia, I can’t wait to see you dancing in New York. You’ll be the best one there,” he said.

His belief in me was like nothing I had ever known. Whenever I had doubts, he would always grab my hands, look into my eyes, and say, “Mia, you can do anything. I know you can.”

I can still see his eyes filling up with tears. “Leo, what’s wrong?”

“I just love you so much, Mia,” he said before he kissed me.

Today feels different. I can’t say if this will last or not, but for me it’s a start.

Baby steps, right?

Once I decide to get myself together, I begin to notice voices in the living room. Hmm… I wonder who’s out there. Great. The one day I decided to come out. No matter. It was time. I had to face everyone now.

As I got closer to the kitchen, I saw my mother’s face light up. “Why, Mia, I’m so happy to see you, honey!” she exclaims and

hugs me.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Mia, I’m so glad you are out of your room.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” I smile at them both.

“You know, Mia, Courtney came by to see us for a bit.” “She did?”

“I know you guys haven’t talked since…”

I couldn’t help but interrupt my mother. “I know, Mom.”

She came over and gave me a big hug. I tried to keep my cool with my mother. Sometimes she can’t help it, I know. All I want to do now is let out a yell. Goodness, she just did not realize I just don’t know what to say to Courtney. Ever since she was the one who got me to call Leo’s phone. Then Matt answered and gave me the tragic news.

I noticed the tension in the room and decided to sit with my parents for breakfast before it escalated.

“Mia, I can’t tell you how nice it is to see you come out of your room.”

“Well, I just thought it was time, Daddy.”

“You want me to make you some eggs or pancakes, Mia?” “No, that’s okay, Mom.”

She frowned. “You need to eat more, dear.”

Dad nodded. “I agree with your mom.”

To avoid getting into another argument with my mom, I decide to let her make me something. “Fine, I’ll eat.” I head over to serve myself a cup of coffee. “So, how’s Courtney?”

“She seemed fine.” Mom glares at me. “Call her, Mia.”

“Maybe.” I just do not know what to say to her. I am not ready yet.

Will I ever be?

“All I am saying is now that you are coming back to life, you might want to start by making up  with her.”

I gave them a slight smile. “I’ll try.” Little do they know, inside I’m terrified.















Chasing Clarity Copyright © 2015 by Sylvia Stein . All Rights Reserved.


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